I Don’t Think I’m Conservative Anymore

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I’m not sure I can call myself a conservative anymore.
I am opposed to bigotry, bias, and hatred of every kind. I can see that the system is set up to make sure black people can’t have the same opportunities even if they try twice as hard as their white counterparts. I’ve watched the last week with my jaw dropped to the floor as police put their boots on the necks of peaceful protesters for simply defying an order to move to another location they arbitrarily determined. I’ve seen literally hundreds of videos of police beating and macing unarmed black men, and now peaceful protestors as well. That isn’t the America I want to live in.

I support everyone’s right to get legally married, I don’t care what gender you are what gender you think you are. Legal marriage and Christian marriage have zilch to do with each other, so I don’t know why any Christian cares about this. God can tell the difference.


I hate war and world-policing.

I hate anti-science goons who argue that observable things like climate change and space travel are fake, and that vaccines cause autism. No, Gomer, watching a YouTube video is not the same as devoting your lifetime to studying a specific subject and having your work tested by peers. “Dur de dur, I did some research on this vaccine even though I’ve never even taken a single chemistry course.” Gimme a break.


I hate conspiracy theories – our government couldn’t organize their way out of a wet paper sack let alone create a conspiracy to, say, knock down the world trade centers or fake the moon landing. People don’t keep secrets. Conspiracy theories are built on the idea that thousands of people can keep the same secret.


I hate people going without basic healthcare or friggin food. How can we justify that? I understand the “no work, no eat” concept. But what about the kids? They can’t help that their parent is a lazy loser, a drug addict, or simply down on their luck. What about them?


I’m still pro-life, because I don’t think the baby is to blame, regardless the circumstances that brought it into existence, but unlike most conservatives, I think birth control should be chucked at people’s heads for free at every opportunity. Delivered to their home weekly, whatever. Nothing reduces abortion like preventing pregnancy in the first place.


In the end, the only part of me that is conservative is the part of me that believes a rising tide lifts all ships – that capitalism works* because it assumes people are greedy. The other economic models fail because they assume people aren’t greedy. (*It works with regulation to prevent the big guys from screwing the little guys).


But if I’m an economic conservative that disagrees with basically every other stance they hold, what does that make me? I’m having an existential crisis! Someone hold me.