1. It rips off every movie cliche’ of the past 30 years. It’s part Dances With Wolves (the most obvious storyline ripoff), part Star Wars, and part Starship Troopers. The most stunning part of the ripoff is that it was so poorly written and acted that it made Kevin Costner look like a frickin genius. From a story point of view, there was NOTHING new about this movie.

2. The dialogue was painfully retarded, as if written by a 13 year old girl. “I see you”? Gag. There are so many amazing screenwriters out there, why Cameron doesn’t hire one of them boggles the mind. He has never been able to write dialogue, and this movie reinforced that fact.

3. Unobtainium. I laughed so loudly when they first mentioned this “natural resource” that I thought security was going to make me leave. The moment the word was spoken, all hope for taking the movie seriously was gone.

4. New age white guilt barf-fest. What do you get when you mix white guilt with new age touchy-feely philosophy? You get oppressed blue natives just trying to keep their simple spiritual lives while the evil white men exploits them and rapes the planet. I don’t know how you can see this message and not be disgusted by it. You know what? Screw the blue natives. They should have built their village somewhere that didn’t sit on top of the Unobtainium.

5. If you see the movie without 3D, you can’t help but focus on the 4 points above. I haven’t heard one person that saw the movie in a regular theater that liked the movie, and I haven’t heard one person that saw the 3D version that didn’t like it. That tells me that the only good part of the film was the visual effects. Per usual, James Cameron. If you’re going to spend 300 million on special effects, couldn’t you at least pop for a screenwriter?

I’m just saying.

Monday, I finally broke down and ordered iPhones for Jenna and I. It doesn’t appear that Verizon is going to get the iPhone until they roll out 4G, which could still be a year or two. So, AT&T was the only option.

I ordered two 8GB iPhones (because I’m too cheap to pop for the 16 or 32), and they promptly shipped Jenna’s phone and backordered mine.

Needless to say, having my phone backordered (especially when Jenna’s was shipped immediately), did not make me happy. I called AT&T to get an ETA, and they told me they had no idea.

I went home and told Jenna and she said “you should call and threaten them.” It’s not really my style, but I did want my dang phone, so Tuesday morning I called again.

This time, I worked my way up to a supervisor. Here is a transcript of the conversation.

AT&T: Hello sir, I understand your iPhone was backordered and you need information about it’s ship date.

Pete: Well, yes, my phone was backordered, and I’m going to need you to go ahead and ship it out today.

AT&T: Unfortunately we are completely backordered on the 8GB iPhone, and I don’t know when they’ll be replenished.

Pete: Sounds like you have a problem there. I guess you’ll have to ship me a 16GB instead.

AT&T: I’m sorry, but I can’t change part of an order that’s already shipped.

Pete: I’m not interested in you changing my order. I just want someone to go down to the warehouse and put a 16GB iPhone in a box and ship it to me.

AT&T: Well sir, I don’t have the authority to do something like that, unfortunately.

Pete: Yes, that is unfortunate. I’ve been with Verizon for 14 years and I’ve never had a single complaint. I’m already unhappy with AT&T and I don’t even have my phone yet. I think I might have made a big mistake switching over, especially considering your 3G network is so much smaller than Verizon’s.

AT&T: Please hold for a moment.

Pete: No problem.

Eight minutes of total silence commence…………..

AT&T: Sir?

Pete: Yes?

AT&T: We have shipped you a 16GB iPhone at no extra charge. You should receive it on Thursday.

Pete: Thanks.

And that’s how that works.

Sure, it has it’s plus side – you can curse without retribution. But sometimes cursing just doesn’t meet with general standards of decorum. Like in the case of the guy I just met who has Tourette syndrome.

I met him at church. Not my church, but at A church. He was a music leader for a young adults group. And dude could NOT stop saying “F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#”. I mean, every 5 seconds. Same phrase every time.

For some reason, when he was singing, it didn’t happen, but as soon as he stopped, “F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#.” Including when he would pray. He was pretty good at taking the mic away from his face when he would say it, but you could still hear it faintly. And occasionally he wouldn’t quite get the mic moved in time, and then he would say “F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#” through the PA system, which was VERY strange to hear in church.

I’m not going to bag on this guy. He’s clearly making the best of his lot in life by trying to serve. However, I’m not sure I agree with his choice of servitude options. Someone who frequently blurts “F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#” isn’t necessarily the best choice for on-stage performance. Nor would the job of church “greeter.” A guest at a church doesn’t generally expect to hear “Good morning, welcome to our church. F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#.” Just like a guest at a church doesn’t expect the worship pastor to say “thank you God, praise God, F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#.”

There have to be more suitable ways for this guy to serve. Like the sound guy. Nobody can hear what the sound guy says because they stick him at the back in a booth. Or how about the drummer. Drummer’s get stuck at the back of the stage behind a soundproof plexiglass cage. How about janitor? People EXPECT the janitor to walk around saying “F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#.”

So in summary, it obviously sucks to be this guy. It also sucks that he has chosen a position in a church that lets him shout “F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#” 150 times per service. Through the PA system.

Did I mention how weird it was to have a conversation with someone who was super nice but who also interjected “F@# YOUR A@!#$ M@$@$#F*&)@#” every other sentence? Because it was weird.

Thank you so much for the letter informing us that we have to repay the unemployment that you already sent us. This makes complete sense, because we already went through a dispute and won, because the employer didn’t have any evidence. But since the employer was able to MANUFACTURE evidence after the fact, I can see how you would take his word for everything. That makes total sense.

Of course, employers never lie… only employees do that. Employers are truthful by their very nature. Just because the person who trained my wife in the job was the one who showed (by her example) her what was acceptable and what wasn’t. But that isn’t the employers problem, even if he IS sleeping with the person who trained my wife. I’m sure that had nothing to do with the double standard.

I’m sure your decision to only talk to the employer and not the employee was based on a completely fair set of criteria. Our legal system is based on an accuser being able to say whatever they want, and the accused not being allowed to be present. Right? Sure, you can lean on your thin argument of technical difficulties, but that hardly makes a one-sided legal decision fair, don’t you think?

Yes, Kansas, your decision to reverse the unemployment will definitely help the economy. The scumbag employer will save a few hundred bucks. Your unemployment fund will save a few thousand. And you don’t have to worry about what happens to the citizen you’re taking the money away from, because that’s not your problem.

I blame the employer for being a lying scumbag who has one set of standards for normal employees and another set for employees he sleeps with. But it’s you, Kansas, that I blame for having a ridiculous, arbitrary, and moronic system in place that allows decent people to be screwed by lying scumbags.

Keep up the good work!

Your loyal taxpaying citizen,

Pete

Click here to donate to the Pete & Jenna Unemployment Replacement Fund. Sorry, donations are not tax deductible. But they are appreciated.

My tendency was always to obsess about every possible scenario that might possibly happen, assume the worst, and then try to plan for it. To some extent, it’s a smart way to plan. But not if it makes me have a stroke.

As you know from my past musings, we are having to pay back the unemployment that we’ve been paid the past few months. If you didn’t know that, go back a couple of posts. But that’s a big chunk of change, and of course, we already spent it on bills.

That introduces a cash flow problem. I still have all of the same bills to pay, but now Kansas wants several thousand dollars. And they want it now, they want it all at once, and they want it in large, non-sequential bills. Seriously, they want it all now.

Add to that April is coming up and IHS had a better year than expected, so i will also owe several thousand dollars to the IRS and frickin Kansas then, too.

That’s a LOT of cash to come up with between now and April 15th. And I have to do it without the unemployment Jenna still should have been getting through this October.

So basically, cash in has gone to zero, and cash out has gone to about ten thousand dollars.

I’m not imagining the circumstances. That is reality. But I am probably not helping the situation by making myself stroke out. It is what it is, and at the end of the day, the government can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip. They can’t have what I don’t have.

If that’s the case, then the worst thing that can happen is I get nasty threatening letters from the IRS.

How bad can that be?

This is really not smart on his part, since I could post anything I felt like on his website. However, the businessman in me says “Pete, you are running a business, you can’t be unprofessional, even to a turbotool like this guy.” So rather than potentially give my business a black eye, it gave me great pleasure to write the following letter, terminating his hosting with my company (click to enlarge):

Against the advice of my dad, I decided to write him a refund check for the unused portion of his hosting. I probably don’t have to legally, and I definitely don’t have to morally, but I still want to keep my business totally on the up-and-up. Unlike him. The main benefit of writing a refund check to this bozo is that I got to write the letter you just read. It just wouldn’t have the same flair if I wasn’t sending him money.

I think of it as a payment on continuing education… I learned never to work with Chiropractors. Legitimate medicine has been proving over and over that Chiropractic Subluxation is total BS for the past 110 years. Why would I think that someone who charged people money to do something that doesn’t fix what he claims it fixes while also risking serious injury or death (strokes, etc.) is a good person? Don’t take my word for it:

Don’t Let Chiropractic Fool You

Anyhow, after about 200 emails, I thought “Wow, this would be a really funny post for incredipete!”

So, I contacted them about my impending “nomination.”

They were pleased to hear from me and just wanted to interview me to “make sure I met their standards for qualification.”

In an attempt to find out how well they screen applications (after all, I don’t want to be in a publication that hasn’t been edited and fact-checked), I decided to embellish my credentials a bit.

Naturally, I told them I had a Master’s in Electrical Engineering from MIT. And I told them that I was employed by NASA designing circuit boards for the upcoming Creed manned space exploration (and yes, I did pick Creed because of Apollo) rocket. I told them I was in charge of the team designing all of the sophisticated equipment that would be on board the spaceship, and that my team included nearly 90 of America’s best and brightest minds.

While I was at it, I told them that I also had an MBA from Purdue University that I finished in 1988 before my first executive job running the research division at GM. I told them that I predicted that GM would go down the drain which is why I bailed to work for NASA in 1999 (brilliant foresight, wouldn’t you agree?).

I sit on the Board of Curators for the University of Kansas, too, in my spare time.

Ok, that’s the end of my grand experiment. After I told him all of this stuff, he was VERY impressed and immediately told me he wanted to include me. And of course he pitched all of their expensive products they want you to buy. Then I hung up.

In addition to being blatant fabrication, it’s OBVIOUSLY blatant fabrication. I live in Kansas. NASA doesn’t have offices here. I’m 31… I couldn’t have graduated with an MBA when I was 10. I’m not Doogie Howser. NASA has no such plans for manned space exploration, and they certainly don’t have a program with a stupid name like “Creed” which is obviously a Rocky reference.

Oh, and the KU Board of Curators is public information. He could have Googled it and seen I wasn’t on it.

He terminated her for violating a policy which he did not have, had never mentioned, and made up only AFTER she pushed him to explain his reason for terminating her. He lost the initial dispute for unemployment because he didn’t have any documentation.

Then, as if by magic, he produced a photocopied page from “a” policy manual, which Jenna had never seen, and another page from somewhere else (that didn’t even have the same font or font size) that he ALSO claimed was part of his policy manual. Jenna was never given a copy of this document (probably because it didn’t exist), and EVEN IF THE DOCUMENT DID EXIST, HE DIDN’T FOLLOW THE DISCIPLINE STEPS IN THE FRIGGIN DOCUMENTS! It said two written warnings would be given, then possible termination. Well, he didn’t give written warnings.

His other point in his appeal was that Jenna had a job and was, in essence, scamming the unemployment system. He was referring to Jenna being on the radio… which she is. However, what he didn’t know (since it was none of his damn business) was that she is a volunteer. She’s killing time while she looks for work. She’s never been paid a cent.

He sent a page from her blog on the radio station’s website claiming it proved that she was working.

The fact that he won this appeal only proves that he must have lied through his teeth to the judge. There’s no other way he could have won. The facts were not on his side. He couldn’t produce one solid piece of evidence that she violated a policy, and he didn’t even follow the policy that he submitted (which was apparently downloaded from the Internet) to the judge as evidence. And his second claim of her being employed was just bunk. He assumed.

If you just go by the “facts” that were presented in the documentation, he can’t win. He must have just lied and lied and lied.

We could fight it, but frankly it wouldn’t help. The next appeal step doesn’t allow any new information to be added, a panel just reviews the current file to make sure the JUDGE didn’t break any rules with the judgment. Which I’m sure she didn’t.

We could hire an attorney and sue the idiot. But Jenna and I have already had 4 months of this guy trying to cause us sleepless nights, stress, and just general anger. I think 4 months of him upsetting us is enough, and so my decision is to let it go.

It’s not fair, in fact it may be criminal. It’s DEFINITELY jerky, for someone who acted like he was friends with Jenna up till the day he fired her then fought tooth and nail to stop her unemployment. And the thing is, it might have cost him a few hundred bucks on his unemployment rates, but the money was coming from the state, not from him. If he had any understanding of the system he’d know that it was only a few bucks to him but ten THOUSAND bucks to us.

Either he’s evil and trying to ruin us, or he’s a complete moron who doesn’t understand how the system works. Before the appeal hearing, I might have guessed moron, but after all the lies, it has to be evil.

Anyhow, we will be accepting donations, because we have to pay back the unemployment money they paid us for the last 4 months. Talk about adding insult to injury!

But truthfully, we will be fine. We will even be fine financially. It’s a temporary (and brief) setback. And in the end, I can still say that I never got a DIME from the government, ever. When I was laid off back in the 90’s, they wouldn’t let me have unemployment because I signed up for classes. Now, we’re paying back what we got for Jenna, with interest I’m sure.

I can preserve my pristine record of never getting a handout. I hope he’s happy with his 3.2% UE rate instead of it going to 3.3%.

And yes, I did tag this post in the category “Gay Stuff.” LOL

The message read “You are an idiot!”

This message was perspicacious while simultaneously useless, so I found myself compelled to post it. Incidentally, J C will probably have to look up the word “perspicacious” before he’ll realize it has nothing to do with sweating.

He did not refer to anything I’ve written. He did not use a real name or email, so my assumption would be it’s someone I know, but who knows. It’s these random notes that make me just scratch my head. Even if you’re too much of a sally to leave your real name and email address, you’d think if you were that upset by something you read, you’d at least state your objection. Not so in cyberspace. People are very brave when they’re protected by anonymity.

I’m to the point in my life where this type of message just makes me laugh. Someone took the time to stop at my site, get riled up enough to write a note, and mad enough they didn’t want me to know who they were. That is quite a lot of power I have.

Or rather, to J C I say “Dance Monkey, Dance!”