Words to Live By
For your edification, I present Pete’s Words to Live By:
If your college has a jingle but not a fight song, chances are you’d be better off going elsewhere. “Set yourself free, get your degree, National American University” I rest my case.
Never use any local company whose owner personally records their radio or TV commercials. Especially not if they have their kid or grandkid participate.
Always consider the acronym when naming your company or school. Florida University. UTI (an automotive repair votech school). Direct Import Conglomerates of Kansas.
Never ask needy people “how are you” unless you have hours to kill.
If the thought “Wow, I should really use a condom” pops into your head… you should really reconsider your life choices.
Dogs give unconditional love. Cats give unconditional disdain.
If you disagree with anything that any black person ever said, you are a racist.
Sports fall on Maslow’s hierarchy right between pudding pops and weaves.
If you spend more time playing video games than you spend cleaning, you deserve the tumor that you’re giving yourself.
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
