Monday, I finally broke down and ordered iPhones for Jenna and I. It doesn’t appear that Verizon is going to get the iPhone until they roll out 4G, which could still be a year or two. So, AT&T was the only option.

I ordered two 8GB iPhones (because I’m too cheap to pop for the 16 or 32), and they promptly shipped Jenna’s phone and backordered mine.

Needless to say, having my phone backordered (especially when Jenna’s was shipped immediately), did not make me happy. I called AT&T to get an ETA, and they told me they had no idea.

I went home and told Jenna and she said “you should call and threaten them.” It’s not really my style, but I did want my dang phone, so Tuesday morning I called again.

This time, I worked my way up to a supervisor. Here is a transcript of the conversation.

AT&T: Hello sir, I understand your iPhone was backordered and you need information about it’s ship date.

Pete: Well, yes, my phone was backordered, and I’m going to need you to go ahead and ship it out today.

AT&T: Unfortunately we are completely backordered on the 8GB iPhone, and I don’t know when they’ll be replenished.

Pete: Sounds like you have a problem there. I guess you’ll have to ship me a 16GB instead.

AT&T: I’m sorry, but I can’t change part of an order that’s already shipped.

Pete: I’m not interested in you changing my order. I just want someone to go down to the warehouse and put a 16GB iPhone in a box and ship it to me.

AT&T: Well sir, I don’t have the authority to do something like that, unfortunately.

Pete: Yes, that is unfortunate. I’ve been with Verizon for 14 years and I’ve never had a single complaint. I’m already unhappy with AT&T and I don’t even have my phone yet. I think I might have made a big mistake switching over, especially considering your 3G network is so much smaller than Verizon’s.

AT&T: Please hold for a moment.

Pete: No problem.

Eight minutes of total silence commence…………..

AT&T: Sir?

Pete: Yes?

AT&T: We have shipped you a 16GB iPhone at no extra charge. You should receive it on Thursday.

Pete: Thanks.

And that’s how that works.

Thank you so much for the letter informing us that we have to repay the unemployment that you already sent us. This makes complete sense, because we already went through a dispute and won, because the employer didn’t have any evidence. But since the employer was able to MANUFACTURE evidence after the fact, I can see how you would take his word for everything. That makes total sense.

Of course, employers never lie… only employees do that. Employers are truthful by their very nature. Just because the person who trained my wife in the job was the one who showed (by her example) her what was acceptable and what wasn’t. But that isn’t the employers problem, even if he IS sleeping with the person who trained my wife. I’m sure that had nothing to do with the double standard.

I’m sure your decision to only talk to the employer and not the employee was based on a completely fair set of criteria. Our legal system is based on an accuser being able to say whatever they want, and the accused not being allowed to be present. Right? Sure, you can lean on your thin argument of technical difficulties, but that hardly makes a one-sided legal decision fair, don’t you think?

Yes, Kansas, your decision to reverse the unemployment will definitely help the economy. The scumbag employer will save a few hundred bucks. Your unemployment fund will save a few thousand. And you don’t have to worry about what happens to the citizen you’re taking the money away from, because that’s not your problem.

I blame the employer for being a lying scumbag who has one set of standards for normal employees and another set for employees he sleeps with. But it’s you, Kansas, that I blame for having a ridiculous, arbitrary, and moronic system in place that allows decent people to be screwed by lying scumbags.

Keep up the good work!

Your loyal taxpaying citizen,

Pete

Click here to donate to the Pete & Jenna Unemployment Replacement Fund. Sorry, donations are not tax deductible. But they are appreciated.

The message read “You are an idiot!”

This message was perspicacious while simultaneously useless, so I found myself compelled to post it. Incidentally, J C will probably have to look up the word “perspicacious” before he’ll realize it has nothing to do with sweating.

He did not refer to anything I’ve written. He did not use a real name or email, so my assumption would be it’s someone I know, but who knows. It’s these random notes that make me just scratch my head. Even if you’re too much of a sally to leave your real name and email address, you’d think if you were that upset by something you read, you’d at least state your objection. Not so in cyberspace. People are very brave when they’re protected by anonymity.

I’m to the point in my life where this type of message just makes me laugh. Someone took the time to stop at my site, get riled up enough to write a note, and mad enough they didn’t want me to know who they were. That is quite a lot of power I have.

Or rather, to J C I say “Dance Monkey, Dance!”

He thought that nothing could stop them like a human torch.

In China, local governments have imminent domain over every piece of land. There is basically no personal land ownership unless the local government doesn’t want it.

In America when we want something done… when was the last time you heard of someone lighting themselves on fire to accomplish a goal?

We clearly lack the type of commitment and fervor of the rest of the world.

Dear Treasury,

Best regards,
Citigroup
Too Big To Fail Since 1998

Matt Cassel looked like the quarterback equivalent to Lin Elliot, our infamous kicker who lost our last playoff game for us because he “didn’t want to slip and fall.”

Cassel added insult to injury by stating that he had ZERO mental mistakes during the game (during which he threw 4 interceptions).

Our 63 Million dollar man looks like a bust. Awesome.

Losing to the Bills means we will likely have a blackout for Cleveland next week. In fact, I’d call it inevitable. People simply aren’t going to pay good money to sit outside and freeze to watch two of the worst teams in the NFL.

The problem with blackouts is that they breed blackouts. People start to remember all of the other things they can do with their afternoon, or worse yet… they watch other, BETTER football teams play and choose a new allegiance. Blackouts are the beginning of the end for an NFL fanbase.

This would be our first blackout since 1990. That’s a pretty good run, and the fans have stuck with the team in spite of their 9 and 36 record the past 3 years.

I think we’re just growing weary of bad football and lame excuses. All the while, Clark Hunt continues to raise prices on everything.

I really miss Lamar Hunt. Inherited wealth always breeds morons. I’m looking at you, Clark.

I personally think this idea is as hilarious as it is the natural outcome of too much government.

The US will undoubtedly adopt this practice, but instead of labeling by location, they will use political affiliation and/or religion.

“These hot dogs were manufactured by agnostic Democrats, therefore they are safe to eat”

“These hot dogs were manufactured by Christian Republicans, therefore you might die if you eat them”

Lovely.

Needless to say, this was a rather large breech of security.

That said, do we really think the morons screening at the airport could ever detect or foil a terrorist plot? I don’t.

In the study, they will watch the accuracy of balloon spottings via Facebook, where they hope people who sight the balloons will go and report.

Ideally, the Internet will accurately report the location of the balloons in near-real-time, verifying that the Internet is a reasonably reliable place to get information.

On the other hand, people like me might go on there and blatantly lie… I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

I can get all the support staff I need… grips, makeup artists, hair stylists, set designers… even body painters. The only trouble is that 90% of the “models” here are butter-faces. It makes it very difficult to build up an impressive portfolio, which is critical for marketing the business.

Yes, there is a lot I can fix in Photoshop, but as a wise man once told me… “you can’t put in what God left out.”

I’m constantly flooded with model portfolio requests, and the girls show up looking… well, either old, butter-faced, busted, oddly proportioned, or just downright ugly. Granted, they’re paying customers, so I try to make them look good, but you can only do so much.

I’m not sure how to overcome this problem short of literally scouting my own talent… finding girls who don’t know they’re models yet.

We shall see.