The “List”
Every couple in my generation, and probably the tail end of the Boomers, has a list.
You know the one I’m talking about.
The “List.”
After extensive research (I did a single Google search) on the Internet, I concluded that no one has ever written anything on the topic, so I decided to be the first.
If you are old, uninformed, or have your head in the sand, allow me to enlighten you.
The “List” is something done as a couple. You each list the celebrities/famous people etc. that would “NOT count” as “cheating” should said celebrity/famous person meet you and beg you to *ahem* kiss them.
Each person in the relationship makes up their own list of famous people, and that becomes the approved list. The list can be modified with proper notice, but cannot be modified “on-the-spot.” In other words, if I decide I want Pamela Anderson on my list (ewww), I could change it and let Jenna know. However, if I MEET Pamela Anderson and she indicates a desire to “kiss” me, I cannot change my list at that time.
I first became aware of the “List” in my first dating relationship. I assumed it was just something bizarre that Ms. Right had cooked up for whatever reason, and that it was an isolated phenomenon.
Then, in each successive relationship, the “List” has once again come up. Apparently it’s commonplace and is a tradition passed on word-of-mouth.
In the interest of keeping this post semi-interesting, and in order to get to the point of the post, I will now give you my list:
- Mandy Moore
- Dina Meyer
- Lindsey Brien (from Real World Seattle)
- Eva Mendes
- Jessica Biel
Jenna also has a list, and although I couldn’t swear to the current makeup and order of the list, some notable members are Bruce Willis, Gordon Ramsey, and Michael Rosenbaum.
Anyhow, recently Jenna had a dream that I met Mandy Moore, the top of my list, and I invoked “List” rules if you get my drift. Of course, Jenna was furious and in her dream was like “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY FOLLOWED THROUGH WITH IT!!!”
So I guess my question is this.
Is the list just an exercise in futility, or do you intend to go through with it if you get the chance?
And, if you don’t have a list, please indicate whether you are 1) Old, 2) Uninformed, or 3) Have your head in the sand.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Dina Meyer would NEVER EVER sleep with you now because you put her SECOND ON THE LIST. How could you?!?!
April 25th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Would I ever go through with The List? No. Here is my list:
Oliver Phelps
John Cusack, only in my world he isn’t a chain-smoking Liberal
Eric Szmanda
Anthony Kiedis, just to see what it would be like
Bear Grylls, but only after he’s had a tetanus shot
Oh yeah, Sig Hansen. ROWR!
April 26th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I don’t have a list but then I also don’t have a boyfriend which means I can kiss who I want, when I want. I can tell you that if I had a list Bruce Willis would be somewhere on it! However I don’t feel the need to have a list.
April 27th, 2008 at 6:09 am
Bouby has dreams that I cheat on her with friends of hers and then wakes up pissed off at me. I always just tell her that;
“it isn’t my fault she married a dream whore, it is your dream not mine! if you want me to bang those chicks just let me know.”
Try that and see if it works for you….I find the couch pretty comfy.
April 29th, 2008 at 11:18 am
I’m personally a fan of the list if it is what it is supposed to be, a FANTASY. Because if it were even theoretically possible to meet anyone on the list let alone *Kiss* them then by default that person could no longer be on the list.
Which is why I don’t have a list. The people on my list would be a bit too attainable and therefore inappropriate for the list. Plus in some relationships certain topics are a little too sensitive to joke about so that is reason 7 why I am sans list.
April 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am
…but if I did have a list (which I don’t) Jessica Biel wouldn’t even round out my top 75. But then to each his own.