Okay, Fine. I’ll Update.
Yes, I’ve been very much a slacker, and I must say that I miss everyone here in cyberspace. This entry consists of both a personal update and a few comments on Israel vs Lebanon.
I spent last week in sunny Philadelphia with the Jenna. We had to get the rest of her stuff out of storage and make the drive back to Kansas with the Penske truck.
Strange Interlude
Ode to Penske
I love Penske
And I hate Uhaul
Uhaul trucks stink
Like a bathroom stall
But Penske rocks
With brand new trucks
For 5 full days
for 800 bucks
God bless Penske
End Strange Interlude
We stayed with her parents while we were in Philly, so I got to spend lots of time watching the 50″ plasma. Ahhhh. The way to and from we stayed in Marriots, so I could earn Marriot points, because I’m trying to collect as many as I can before I die.
I also discovered the TastyKake while I was out there. I’m now totally addicted to chocolate cupcakes from Tastykake. They rock WAY more than Hostess cupcakes. You can buy a case on the website for 64 bucks… that’s 216 cupcakes if anyone’s wondering. My only question is if I can eat 216 during their 3 week shelf life. Probably so.
Anyhoo, we got back to KC alright and unloaded the truck. It was eleventy-jillion degrees and 134% humidity, so I actually drank water. I know! Isn’t that strange? I also did permanent damage to both my hand and my kneecap. I squished my hand between a doornob and a solid oak couch, and I then proceeded to drop an appliance dolly loaded with a solid oak couch on my kneecap, which is now black. It’s totally hot.
Israel vs Lebanon: Who Cares?!
In other news, Israel is bombing the crap out of Lebanon. (Incidentally, if you’ve ever ridden in a LeBaron, the logo looks like it says “Lebanon”) I of course am a huge fan of anything that involves nutty Arab Islamic extremists being carpet bombed. You know you live in a craphole when you have a known terrorist group that is also a successful political party in your country.
Yes, Lebanon sucks. As does Syria, Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and all of those other countries over there too unimportant to mention. I find it funny that tiny little Israel, completely surrounded by psychotic Arabs, has managed to defend itself for the past several decades. Of course, that has a lot to do with the fact that we sell Israel every piece of technology we come up with.
A lot of people wonder why we help Israel. Well, it’s very simple. There’s no good reason. Yup, and no, I’m not anti-semetic, nor anti-semantic. Personally I think that Germany should be doing most of the defending of Israel, considering their checkered past with the Jews. After all, it wasn’t America that killed millions of Jews.
Now granted, Germany doesn’t exactly have the best technology in the world, but it’s certainly better than anything those nutty Arabs have come up with. Most of them are using cold war era Russian crap.
But frankly, I don’t see any point to defending Israel or providing her weapons. They are a nuclear power already, and if we cut them off, we’d probably be doing ourselves a huge favor. It’s about time some of the other superpowers step up to the plate and do something. Why is it always up to America to do everything, and take the heat for everything?
I say, screw the rest of the world. We’re taking our toys and going home.
And if you try to come to our home and hurt us, we’re going to tactically nuke you until you are deceased.
July 18th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
Peter, it’s about freakin’ time you update. And I’m pleased to see that you’re back to your conservative war-loving, nuke-’em-all ways. Because, really - Pete the liberal scared me.
July 18th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Either you are super-funny today or I am super-drunk, or maybe a bit of both, because that entry made me laugh out loud. Twice.
July 18th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
I think it must be your alcohol consumption, because I didn’t laugh even once while I wrote it… a sure sign of a funny entry.
Liberal Pete was starting to scare me, too.
July 18th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Israel is a staunch ally and supporter of America so as far as I am concerned they deserve our support in return. Plus, they kill those evil crazy people who are trying to kill us. Besides, I once dated a totally hot Israeli guy.
July 18th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
Jews Vs. Arabs, Round 68
Didn’t Israel kick everyone’s ass in the 6-day war? It’s like a barfight when the guy getting creamed is so drunk, he keeps coming back for more. After a while, you kind of feel sorry for the guy, but you really enjoy kicking his ass more.
July 18th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
Don’t forget, the Nazi’s pretty much kille anyone who disagreed with them including Christians. I do agree with you on Germany supporting Israel though, it beats sitting on your ass telling us how crappy our government is. Fuck you!
For a while there I was sure you were off drowning Liberal Pete in a vat of alcohol…
July 18th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
Yup, I say we take away everything. Not just our toys, but lets take their toys too. I would personally like to see what the holy land would look like covered in cosintina wire an landmines. We could put up a huge fence and tell them they can have their country back when they learn to play nice with their neighbors.
It would be like a big sand park. Then we could have more U2 concerts for free to “free” Israel from the “fence builders”.
July 19th, 2006 at 1:12 pm
“Thanks for playing, tell him what he’s won, Johnny.”
“That’s right, it’s 11million degrees of searing raaaaaaadioactivity. Then you’ll be whisked away to sunny hell, basking in …..” Ok that was getting dumb.
I’ve said it before, i’ll say it again. Screw the Middle East. South America has plenty of oil. We stop buying oil from the Middle East and invest heavily in South America. We build up their infrastructure and gain allies down there. The Middle East would be screwed without the dollar.
July 19th, 2006 at 10:21 pm
Pete, my ex-boyfriend is from Philly, and he used to serenade me with the most heartfelt rendition of the TastyKake jingle. He also sent me a box of TastyKakes once upon a time. You’ve brought back a memory.
July 20th, 2006 at 12:42 am
What’s this I heard that you went soft and were starting to lean ever so slightly to the left…
Just kidding.
What’s up mah brother from another Mother! I know it’s been a minute (more like many minutes 129,643 to be precise) since I’ve popped in here, but I thought that I’d give the blog another go. So when you get a chance bro hit me up with an e-mail so that I can get fired back up. Its been a long hiatus but I think its time for Uncle - HRT to start spittin’ some knowledge, youknowhatImean! Word, fo shizzle, holla atcha boy.
and other urban slang.
July 20th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
yeah…that was a good Pete. Welcome back. And don’t ever go to the dark side again. I may just have to carpet bomb you if you do…literally. I’ll throw a big pile of heavy carpet on your head….
July 20th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
I have to say, I really like the Penske poetry - especially since you didn’t resort to using any cheap rhymes.