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When I was in my 20’s, I hardly ever had a date. I spent a lot of time with women… even one on one time going to dinner, movies, etc. But they weren’t “dates” because we never called them dates. Apparently that’s the only distinction between a date and going out with a friend of the opposite sex.

I was fortunate enough to have a few girlfriends, and although they were wrought with issues, they provided good experience for me at relationships as well as teaching me exactly what I DIDN’T want in a woman. I dated an alcoholic, a slut, a girl who was simply pitying me, and a single mom. In that order. I found out that those are four things that weren’t for me.

It didn’t help that three of the four were selfish users. I pretty much assumed all women were that way.

The reality was, I didn’t really date in the traditional sense very much, even when I had a girlfriend. The first girl, Ms. Right and I never “went out.” We just hung out at her apartment and watched movies and such. Never really went out to dinner or things like that. The slut and I would go shopping together and the occasional meal, but that relationship didn’t last long because she ultimately cheated on me, and then cheated on that guy, and the next guy, etc.

The closest I got to dating was the girl who was pitying me. She didn’t want to be with me, but she felt I needed a girlfriend (I didn’t know this till after the fact) so she took it upon herself. We went out a lot. We shopped, went to movies, went for drinks, went for dinner, went to the ice cream shop, etc. Even though we spent a lot of time at her apartment watching movies and stuff, we still went out at least once a week. Sadly, she led me to believe that she genuinely wanted to be with me, but was actually constantly looking for an upgrade. Ouch.

The single mom and I went to UMKC together. I met her after I bought my house, so the natural thing seemed to be that she would come over. We didn’t really go out anywhere. It seemed perfectly normal to me both because I never dated much and I’m really a homebody. She was a nice (albeit crazy) girl, but I didn’t feel I was ready to be a stepdad, especially since the baby’s biological dad was a jealous lunatic hell-bent on killing me.

Finally, I met the Jenna. Online. Dating someone you meet online who lives 1100 miles away is difficult to say the least. We went back and forth between cities for several months, but we didn’t go out on dates. We were both too jet lagged to do anything but hang out at each other’s homes. Once she moved here, we couldn’t afford to go out, so we got into the comfortable habit of spending all our time at home.

That meant Jenna and I never actually dated.

We have decided to remedy that situation but implementing a weekly date night. This week we went to see Star Trek at the AMC Cinema Suites. Jenna informed me that I’m “the man” so I have to decide what we’re doing on our dates. That plays to my strengths because I’m much more comfortable going out if I planned it.

So here’s to finally dating someone who’s not an alcoholic, slut, person pitying me, or single mom.

Oh yeah, and that I’m married to…

This entry was posted on Friday, June 5th, 2009 at 12:56 PM and is filed under Domestic Bliss, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.